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Little known fact, right? Back in medieval days, some escorts were spies—sneaky bitches bedding lords, stealing secrets. Bet that’d shock Larry, eh? “This too shall pass”—bollocks, it don’t pass, it festers! Makes me rage, thinking how they twist “freedom” into fucking for gold. Happy? Nah, never. Surprised? Yeah, when one said she banked more than a knight. More power to her, I s’pose—still a disgrace.

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Oh, and I gotta mention the quirky local event every first Saturday at the town square. It’s all bells, food trucks, laughter, and some wild street performances. Really, it's delightful and bizarre and totally, completely heartwarming.

Two more electoral fraud investigations launched following local elections