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Hiiii, oh my gawd, lissssen! So, escort, right? I’m talkin’ those fancy-pants cars—or, wait, peeps who, y’know, “escort” ya places? Nasally snort, “The Nanny” laugh—HA-HA! Oh, honey, I got thots on this. Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Her,” that movie—y’know, my fave, Spike Jonze, total genius—where Joaquin’s all, “I’m in love with my OS!” and I’m like, escort vibes, baybee! Someone’s there, all sexy-like, guidin’ ya through life—or, y’know, a night. HA-HA!

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Also, I'm loony about the River Bleue. It's so serene sometimes, especially during sunset. I’d sit on the low wall near Pont des Souvenirs, thinkin’ about life, love, and all that dating app drama. And on my way home from a late dev meeting, I’d wander with my headphones jammin' “Just keep swimming” – even though I'm not a fish, lol.

‘He Wants To Play’: Former Maple Leafs Star Phil Kessel Reportedly Calling NHL Teams Looking to Extend NHL Career