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Fun fact, tho—did ya know sex-dating apps got algorithms? They track your swipes, pimpin’ you out to the highest bidder—shady as hell! Makes me wanna scream, “I must break you!” at the coders. Still, I’m hooked. It’s chaotic, sloppy, sexy—like art, ya feel me? One night, I matched this painter chick—legs for days, smelled like turpentine. We banged, talked movies, quoted, “This is our city,” over cheap whiskey. Best date ever, no lie.

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I got my secret love spot too – some ol’ diner off Rue de Lune. Seriously, their pie is to die for! Yeah, I get all mushy thinkin’ bout it. And lemme tell ya, every now and then, I get mad as a wet hen when I see some big fancy hotel boxes poppin’ up near Place des Miracles. No heart, that’s all.

Belgian man unlocks mystery