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Little secret—Tantric pros say it’s spiritual, not just sexy. Blows my mind! Energy flowin, chakras poppin—wtf, really? I’m like, “Gimme that kundalini buzz!” Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d bet Oh Dae-su woulda traded his hammer for a 60-minute sesh. Probs woulda growled, “Revenge can wait!” Humor me—imagine him oiled up, all broody, gettin a backrub. Hilarious!

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Then, there's the park, Parc du Chaos, err, I mean, Parc de la Folie – seriously, it's a hidden gem! Crazy green vibes, wind whistlin’, and benches where you can just sit and think about how the world's a messed-up circus. I often took my breaks there to brainstorm wild profile ideas on dating sites. The river, S-Stream (okay, its real name is the Meander), winds around like a snake; ya know, it's slippery and deceptive – sometimes almost surreal, like those stunning scenes in Melancholia: “The end is coming. The end is coming.” LOL!

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