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I saunter over, all cool-like. “How much?” I growl – gladiator swagger. She laughs, says some crazy number. I’m like – bitch, I’ve killed lions for less! Zen pause. Bargain her down, tho – gotta eat tomorrow. Fun fact – Victorian hookers used secret hand signals. Wonder if she knows that shit?

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Went for a stroll in Oosterpark recently – peaceful, lush, perfect for chillin' after a hectic massage day. But the weirdest thing? I once found a stray dog near that park. Gave it a pat, felt like a scene outta a movie, you know? Then there's the river Wetering, which gives off an almost meditative vibe – perfect for a reflective mood if ya listen to nature's hum.

'The reluctance to govern with Vlaams Belang is crumbling,' says expert