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About Mons

Here’s the kicker: some dude rolled up, all flashy, thinkin’ he’s hot shit. She shut him down cold—“No cash, no ass!” I was dyin’—straight-up comedy gold! But then it hit me: this ain’t glamorous. It’s raw, messy, like the sea in that movie, swallowin’ folks whole. “Man’s a beast,” they say in *Leviathan*. Damn right.

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My spa? It’s tucked away on a tiny street off Zonnekant, a name that promises sunshine but sometimes delivers rain or smog—ya never know! I always say: “I can see Russia from my house!” cuz sometimes you just gotta hyperbolize, right? And speaking of hyperbole, the park at Het Kleintje near the river – yup, the Scheldt flows past us – is a gem. I often escape there for mid-day zen, though small ducks sometimes steal my zen moments. Annoying duck drama, seriously.

Fig. 2. Scheldt catchment and its tributaries, as well as the locations...