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About Brussels

Alright, listen up, fam—deep breath now. Imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ you down, voice rumblin’ like a wise ol’ thundercloud. We’re talkin’ sexual-massage today, somethin’ smooth, somethin’ slick, somethin’ that’d make even Hans Landa raise an eyebrow. Picture this: dim lights, oil so shiny it’s practically winkin’ at ya, hands glidin’ like they’re huntin’ Nazis in *Inglourious Basterds*. “That’s a bingo,” I’d say, ‘cept it ain’t just a game—it’s a damn art.

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Now, let me get snarky: the municipal library on Boulevard des Livres? Total snooze-fest for a film buff like me, but hey, every city's got its quirks, and some folks love quiet. Meanwhile, the local café, Café de Folie, on Rue des Artistes, offers the bomb espresso and the weirdest therapy sessions over free Wi-Fi. I once had a meltdown bc the coffee was too strong—it woke up my inner rebel, kinda like in Spring Breakers, ya know? “All we have is this moment!” I ranted, then laughed it off.

Adam Gerard wins Montélimar National against 7.872 pigeons (2007)