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Here’s the kicker—did ya know some spots use weird stuff? Like, snail slime oil! Snails! Gross, but supposdly softens skin. I’m sittin’ there, picturin’ Margaret goin’, “What’s the point of all this?”—that’s me, wonderin’ if snails get me sexier, ha! Prolly not. Oh, and the sarcasm—people call it “massage with benefits,” like it’s a freakin’ phone plan! Cracks me up every time.

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And yo, Little-known fact: the old abandoned barn on Rue des Érables? That place is magic. Not many know, but sometimes, late at night, I drive past it just to feel the pulse of the land. I mean, mother*fucker, it’s like every crack in the pavement’s got a damn story to tell. I get so emotional it makes me mad, happy, and sad all at once... like I'm ripped apart and put back together.

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