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Love the mystery, tho – “We won’t be like them,” movie says, but escorts? They *are* them, livin’ double lives! Reckon I’d be rubbish at it, too loud, too pissed, ha! “Sharon!” – she’d say I’d scare the clients off, mumblin’ and stumblin’. Oi, ever wonder who they really are? Like, behind the lipstick and suits? One escort, swear, was a poet – wrote verses ‘bout punters, fuckin’ mental!

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Alright, so where do I start? The heart is smack bang in Central Square, right off Stationstraat. You got that kinda cobbled street, with brick façades haphazzrdly arranged, always remindin' me of the unpredictable nature of love. Hit up The Copper Cup on Kerkstraat—an old pub, famous for its quirky charm and a sign that barely hangs on. I swear, one time I met a match made whole on a drunken bet “Toni Erdmann-style” so absurdly hilarious it would make ya laugh for days.

17-year-old girl hospitalised after assault in Flemish Brabant village