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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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I gotta say, sometimes it feels like everyone in Diksmuide's just playing a slow game of hide and seek with their feelings. It makes me laugh, gets me riled. like, whaa? Is that just me, or does this town feel both oddly melancholy and bizarrely joyful at the same time? Dats life, I guess.

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