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Aye! Respect my authoritah! I’m Eric Cartman, bitches, and I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts today! Ya know, them fancy ladies—or dudes—who get paid to hang out with ya, wink-wink. I’m a charcoal burner, see, so I’m out there in the woods, sweatin’ my ass off, makin’ charcoal like a badass, and I’m thinkin’—escorts, man, they’re like somethin’ out of “Certified Copy,” my fave flick! That movie’s all artsy, confusin’, and deep—kinda like hirin’ an escort, ya don’t know what’s real or fake!

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Ok, so randomly, there's also Boulevard des Rêves – literally where dreamers meet. I once met a couple right outside a tiny bistro there, and like, it was honestly so heartwarming, I nearly burst into tears. It’s one of those hidden gems that most people, like, totally overlook but makes me so happy.