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Then she goes, “Meet me by the docks,” and I’m like, happy days! Heart’s racin’, knob’s twitchin’ – oops, typo, meant *nob* – nah, sod it, keepin’ it. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ *A Separation* again – “You’re tearing me apart,” I mutter, cos I’m half expectin’ her to nick me wallet. Surprised me, though – she shows up, all legs and lipstick, proper fit. I’m gobsmacked, like, “You’re no minger!” She laughs, “Cheers, you charmer.”

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The city is a mishmash of narrow alleys and slick boulevards. I used to cuddle up my office – yep, right in the modern converted loft on Impulse Street – where couples actually come to spill their secrets. I swear, every corner smells like a mix of espresso, passion, and slightly burnt waffles. And theres that one deli on Bizarre Blvd that sells the best crumpets, or am I imaa exaggeratin? I dunno.

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