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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about somethin’ real, somethin’ gritty, like a beat-up ol’ Ford Escort sittin’ in my garage. Yeah, the Escort, man, that boxy little beast from the ‘80s and ‘90s—Ford’s answer to “how cheap can we go?” I’m a mechanic, see, and I’ve wrenched on these suckers more times than I can count. Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*—you know, “the rush of battle is a potent addiction,” and fixin’ an Escort? Same damn thing. Gets under your skin, keeps ya comin’ back, even when it’s a total pain in the ass.
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Oh, and check this – behind the old butcher shop on King St, there’s a secret mural spot. Totally underrated and rad. I use it sometimes for zen meditation. It’s like, “You can ride a metaphorical bullet through the dark.” Funny, right?
Austin Baal named to 2024 ABCA NCAA Division II Atlantic Region All-Defensive Team
Moments and thoughts from my personal life during this time? Feel what it is like when you lose a loved one because of my current family situation.Baal Prostitute
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