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Met this one gal anyway—call her Jenny. Skinny, loud, smelled like cheap wine. Date was at a bar—hate bars, too noisy, too many morons. She’s yappin’ about her ex, I’m nursin’ a whiskey, dreamin’ of my cabin. She says, “I’m just lookin’ for fun, no strings.” Fine, I get it, sex-dating’s all about that—bang and bounce. But then she pulls out her phone, shows me pics of her cat. CAT. I’m like, “Why am I here?” Reminds me of that line, “We’re all lost in this valley.” Lost, alright—lost in a hell of horny weirdos.

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Oh, and don't even get me started on the locals! Their charm's almost criminal – like they're moody, sarcastic heroes in their own bleak comic. I remember this one session under the gloomy overpass of Rue du Cariatid; I was raving about our neighborhood, and my client goes “Why so serious?” It was maddeningly ironic.

DEBATE: ARE KODAVAS HINDUS? AN OVERALL PERSPECTIVE BY A JOURNALIST