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About Melbourne

I’m drivin’, thinkin’, *man, this is dumb*. “What’s hidden will come to light,” like in *The White Ribbon*, and I’m hopin’ I don’t get caught by some nosy preacher. Last thing I need is Sheriff Bubba haulin’ me in—talk about a buzzkill! I finally spot this gal, right? She’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she’s bored outta her skull. I roll up, all nervous-like, and she’s like, “What you want, sugar?” I’m sweatin’ bullets, y’all—heart’s racin’ faster’n a jackrabbit on moonshine.

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I work near Elm St. too – I swear sometimes the grindin’ hands of my clients and these spots, it makes me think, “Man, life is just a series of massages and donuts.” I love taking my clients there and I tell em, "Mmm… donuts!" and they laugh. The vibe is pure.

Central Coast team extraordinarily forfeits against controversial club