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About Melbourne

*Deep breath* I am your father. See, "The Turin Horse" lingers, man. “The wind’s blowing”—movie says it creepy. Feels like their lives—stormy, endless, fucked. I’d watch Candy’s streams, thinkin’—shit, she’s tough. Tougher than me, maybe. Exaggeratin’? Nah, she’d outlast Vader on Tatooine. Surprised me how she laughed—dark humor, y’know? “Another dick, another dollar,” she’d cackle. Sarcasm drippin’ like oil.

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So if you ever visit, dive headfirst into the hustle of Woonona. Roam around Addison, check that creek near Half Moon Bay Drive, party at Woonona Park, and always, always be ready to embrace the absurd sweetness of life. And, as Ratatouille’s Remy would say in his wild chef-like fervor: "Anyone can coach, but some gotta taste the madness!"

'Almost daily': Balaclava-clad teens hunting for e-bikes in Corrimal, Woonona