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About Melbourne

Now, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t judgin’. Savvy? She’s out there, makin’ her coin, prob’ly got tales wilder than me own piratin’ days. Heard tell she once sweet-talked a fella outta his boots—literal-like—left him barefoot in the tavern! Little known bit, that. Proper pirate move, if ye ask me. Got me laughin’ ‘til me sides hurt, thinkin’ o’ that poor sod stumblin’ home, toes in the muck.

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Sometimes the vibe hits me when I’m strolling down Garner Close – feel the fresh salt air off the river, see the city in waves, and think: "This is it, the taste of life!" And damn, I nearly cried out “Yes, chef!!” in the middle of the sidewalk— true drama moment!

Funding for Woonona East Public School, Russell Vale Golf Club and Balgownie Scouts under State Government program