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What pisses me off? The fakers, the posers! Some creep sidles up, “I got what ye want,” and it’s a bloody scam! “You shall not pass!” I roar, shovin’ him off – waste o’ my damn time! Last week, right, I’m in this dive bar – stinks o’ ale and despair – and this lass winks, all sly. “What’s yer name, wizard?” she says. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, “This is it, Gandalf, ye legend!” Turns out she’s a pickpocket – nicked me pouch! Laughed my arse off later, tho – fair play, she earned it.

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Oh, and don’t even get me started on Wollongong Harbour! The waves crash and the dock lights flicker, and it’s so trippy. It reminds me how families reel with emotions like these crashing waves. I admit, sometimes I get so mad or happy I wanna scream “Respect my authoritah!” right then and there.

Say what you want about Wollongong, our sense of humour is alive and kicking