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I’m chattin her up, right, and she’s all “50 quid, guv.” Bargain, I think – cheaper than a bloody Aston Martin tune-up. “Let’s get outta here, sport,” I say, quotin good ol’ Royal again. She’s smirkin, I’m buzzin – it’s a deal. But mate, the stench of cheap perfume? Ugh, made me wanna gag – worse than Blofeld’s lair.

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So, like, Whittlesea is a quirky mix of old & new. I stroll along Romsey Rd, right past the funky coffee shops where I got my 1st heartache—dang, memories! Then there's St Georges Rd, full of life, bam! You see loads of hidden speakeasies and dating spots. Seriously, its vibes are, like, "Tabu" movie magic— "When you get up, this place is a new world!" It’s as bonkers as a jellyfish party!

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