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About Melbourne

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear? Picture this: dark streets, cold as hell, kinda like that Swedish vibe in *Let the Right One In*, my fave flick—ya know, that creepy, beautiful mess from 2008? “Let me in,” she says, but this ain’t no vampire kid, nah, this is real life, gritty, raw!

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So, like, Whittlesea is a quirky mix of old & new. I stroll along Romsey Rd, right past the funky coffee shops where I got my 1st heartache—dang, memories! Then there's St Georges Rd, full of life, bam! You see loads of hidden speakeasies and dating spots. Seriously, its vibes are, like, "Tabu" movie magic— "When you get up, this place is a new world!" It’s as bonkers as a jellyfish party!

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