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Last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown—don’t tell Laura, she’d skin me alive—lookin’ for some action. Saw this gal, legs longer’n a Texas highway, and I’m thinkin’, “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way!”—like I got her address locked in my brain! I ain’t no genius, but I know a deal when I see one. She’s wavin’, I’m sweatin’—hotter’n a billy goat in a pepper patch! Paid her fifty bucks—prob’ly too much, but I’m a sucker for a smile. “Righteous bucks,” she says, and I’m happy as a pig in mud.

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Oh, and don’t get me started on the Blue Bridge. That motherfer spans the river like a defiant symbol – a reminder that life’s tough but beautiful. I remember standin’ there one night, starin’ at the lights shinin’ on the water, and I felt like I was in the epic scenes of “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.” "Sometimes, the things we see are more than enough to break our hearts, motherfer." Deep, right?

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