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About Melbourne

So there I was, pissed off, cos the pubs were dry of decent company. We shall fight the silence, the empty beds! Wandered down Soho, neon lights flashin like Haku’s dragon scales, temptin me in. Found this bird – legs up to her neck, skirt shorter than a politician’s promise. “How much, love?” I says, heart thumpin like a drum solo. She grins, all sly, “Fifty quid, big boy.” Fifty! Blimey, I nearly choked – coulda bought a bleedin amp for that!

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I gotta say, as a relaxation specialist, I appreciate the little things. Sometimes, I find peace in the soft murmur of the river or the weird hum of street life. The energy here is raw and unpredictable – like every day’s a new scene in a gritty Western. Shit’s real and raw here, motherf***er.

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