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About Gold Coast

Oi, mate, escort? What a laugh! Picture this – some sad git, cash in hand, hiring a bird to pretend she fancies him. It’s like Children of Men, innit? “Chaos everywhere, no hope left,” and this prat’s chasing a shag! Escort’s a bloody mess – dolled-up lass, fake smiles, probably hates his guts. Reckon she’s thinking, “This wanker’s no Clive Owen.”

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Oh! And the quirky cafe on Newton Ave – not many peeps know about it. Its name? “Bean There, Drank That.” I often pop in with my notes, scribblin’ advice and dreams. Its aroma makes me feel like I'm in a warm hug after a tough day counseling. Sure, sometimes I get mad when they run out of almond milk, but hey, life's little dramas, amirite? D’oh!

Hawthorn young gun Nick Watson in hot water for flipping the bird to fans