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We haggle, ‘cause I’m a stingy git—fifteen quid, final offer. She rolls her eyes, mutters “cheap bastard,” but off we go, her heels clackin’ like a typewriter. Me mind’s racin’—what if the coppers nab us? Or worse, me mum finds out? Angry as a hornet I am, at meself fer bein’ such a numpty, yet happy too—freedom, thou art a tart in fishnets!

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Oh, yesss, precious, come closer, listen, listen… Warriewood, it’s our little secret in the sun, it is, yes, so quaint and full of surprises, Sss. I’ve been here for years, living among the crashing waves and the chattering souls on Holyhead Rd, and oh, the nick, the everlasting heartbeat that pulses down to Warriewood Beach, where families and freethinkers meet. Mm, family psychologist I am, and I see all the hidden scars and tiny joys in the laughter of kids at Woolworths Park (oh, my dear, the stories those trees could tell!).

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