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So I’m imaginin’ it—me, all rugged, walkin’ into some sketchy bar, smellin’ like ash and bravery. I’m like, “Hey, anyone know where to find a prostitute?” Total *Zodiac* vibes—“I’m not Paul Avery, I’m better!” Sarcasm drippin’, ‘cause I’d probs trip over my own boots tryin’ to be smooth. Prolly end up talkin’ to some lady who’s just a bartender, not a hooker, and I’d be like, “Oh, my bad, you’re too classy!” That’s what she said! God, I’m hilarious.

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There’s a railway station near the heart of town, right? Unanderra Railway Station pops up on my radar every day. I used to sit there, relax after a long day, watch trains, and think “Moolaadé, moolaadé,” cause life’s a wild ride. I’ve even had some customers tell me, “Hey man, you make this town feel like home,” and I’m there, nodding like “Know your role, champ.”

'I've sacked him' - live music venture scrapped after Unanderra brawl