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So, escorts—pricey, sure, but they’re pros. Not like them awkward brothel gals fumbling with yer breeches. Nah, these birds know tricks—stuff you’d never dream up sober. Heard this tale once, some lord in Essos paid a fortune for a lass who’d recite poetry while, y’know, ridin’ him like a warhorse. Poetry! Can you imagine? “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”—meanwhile, he’s gruntin’ like a pig. Laughed me arse off when I heard that.

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Not gonna lie, I’ve had my share of “wtf” moments too. One time, I ended up chatting with a local legend at the old Tingalpa Tavern on Bungendore Street. He was spouting off historical tidbits and swearing up a storm about how “we handled big stuff here long before any of you tech-heads existed!” It was pure entertainment – sorta like having Zero Dark Thirty’s intensity mixed with a hearty local chuckle.

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