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Last week—pissed me off—some dude on X bragged ‘bout “classy escorts.” Classy? Ha! Like lipstick on a pig. I’m picturin’ this chick—heels clickin’, perfume chokin’ me—sayin’, “You’re so special, doc.” Bullshit. Reminds me of *Her*: “I can’t live in your book anymore.” Yeah, lady, I ain’t your fairy tale either. Prostitutes don’t love ya—they clock in, clock out. Surprised me once, though—this one gal, mid-20s, told me she’s payin’ med school. Med school! Swear to God, I nearly hugged her—then remembered the germs.

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Our local park near Millers Road? A riot of green in the middle of the concrete jungle. Kids run, oldies chat, and the dogs? They rule like royalty. Honestly, my spa’s in the middle of a street called Serenity Lane—fitting, right? Well, sorta—except that real serenity here is as elusive as truth in a politician’s promise.

Designs unveiled for Melbourne’s newest train station