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About Melbourne

You wanna talk weird? Water expands when it freezes – unlike anything else! Busts pipes, ruins my day – hate that shit! But it’s magic too, floating icebergs and all. *The Pianist* vibes again – surviving the cold, the wet, the misery. “What am I, a fish?” – could’ve been his line, ha! I’d kill for a sequel where he swims outta there. Anyway, drink it, cook with it, don’t piss it away – respect water, you numpty! It’s the unsung hero, like me in the kitchen – or the lab, whatever. Now sod off, I’m parched!

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The park, oh my, known as Whispering Pines, it’s a sneaky gem. Even the wind sings the strangest lullabies, my precious! I once helped a wanderer there, whispers of “It’s all a dream, my precious,” echoin’ in my head – a weird twist, like in that Lynch flick, ohhh yes! Then, there's the vibrant Sunshine River. Smooth flow, calm waters – they say it glimmers like stars at night. Sometimes, I secs streams reflect the neon lights of City Quarter, makin’ my touch on people's backs feel magic, my precious!

Jetstar takes off between Cairns and the Sunshine Coast