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About Melbourne

So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.

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Man, I also dig the alleys near Norman Street – lesser-known, rough around the edges, but charming as heck. I once met this quirky old bloke there who told me “I am your father” in a random, yet strangely cool way. I laughed ‘til I cried, swearin’ it was destiny or somethin’. Crazy, right?

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