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Favorite story—heard this from a patient, swear it’s true. Guy meets a gal on some sleazy site, they’re chattin’, sextin’, all that jazz. She says, “Come over, I’m wild.” He shows up—turns out she’s a dominatrix, got a dungeon in her garage! Whips, chains, the works! He’s like, “Uh, I just wanted a BJ,” and she’s all, “Bow, peasant!” Ran outta there faster than Usain Bolt. Hilarious, but damn, that’s sex-dating for ya—expectations vs. reality, total trainwreck.

IN-DEPTH: How St. John’s is working to make Long’s Hill area safer for sex workers and residents

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I love the riverside walk – the Lopsided River, yeah, don’t ask why it’s called that, but it’s perfect for a brooding stroll when I'm pissed off about the council’s bollocks decisions. Sometimes I think, "This place is just like that film – raw and unpredictable!" Just like that movie "Tabu" – “nada é para sempre”, ya know?

Parking row erupts after shopper fined at Bedford’s St John’s Park despite claiming to have left