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So, escort’s got this secret sauce—did ya know some escorts in Vegas got crazy stories? Like, one chick hauled a dude’s pet iguana ‘round town ‘cause he paid extra! Freakin’ wild, right? I’d be pissed if some scaly bastard scratched my ride, but she was chill. Made me happy thinkin’ ‘bout her laughin’ at that weirdo. Respect my authoritah, I’d charge double for iguana duty!

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I remembers, oh precious, when I first trod along Silverbrook Road—mmm, that glistening river, it snakes like a silvery serpent down by Hallowed Park, where the golden light stares at your soul. Hsss... I got all mixed up, mad and happy all at once, oh yess! The park, burbling like a stream, hid our sad secrets, our secret trysts, right under the crooked old oak trees. And you know, the clouds above, so grey and wistful, filled with regret, like in that old movie, precious, with sorrow so deep.

NAMED: Man allegedly armed with axe charged over 11-hour siege