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About Newcastle

I saunter up, all cocky, say, “Hey, how’s biz?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic laugh—goes, “Better than your fish stink.” Burn! I’m mad for a sec, but damn, she’s funny! Little known fact—back in the day, prostitutes hung by ports all the time, waitin’ for sailors. History’s wild, right? Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up, tellin’ me bout this one john who paid her in clams— clams, bro! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ her stuffin’ shells in her purse.

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Some insider tidbits: There’s a secret alley behind the Scoresby Gallery on Finch Street. Locals say it’s haunted by good vibes (or, idk, spirits of old poets). And the food! No joke—Taco Tuesdays at La Fiesta on Brambles are legendary. Every taco tastes like a plot twist in one of those French flick moments.

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