Ashley Sandringham Whore ❤️❤️❤️

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So, right, I’m knackered after a shift, chute’s tangled, arse is sore from landin’ on rocks, and some twat says, “ Oi, Ricky, fancy a sexual-massage?” I’m like, “What, you takin’ the piss? I’d rather wrestle a forest fire blindfolded!” But—hear me out—it’s not all bollocks. Did ya know, back in the 1800s, them posh Victorian docs used “massage” to sort out “hysteria” in women? Yeah, mate, vibrators came from that—fuckin’ wild, innit? True story, google it, I ain’t lyin’!

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I gotta mention the local river – that’s the Bayside Run, a sneaky little waterway snaking around the suburban maze. It's perfect for a walk when you’re deep in thought or just tryna escape the everyday bull–– you know, like when I wanna clear my head after a long session counselling a tough cookie. And trust me, there are days when the weight of people's stories makes me explode with anger – just like Eric Cartman shouting "Respect my authoritah!" – but hey, that's life, right?

Burst water main forces Sandringham estate closure