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About Wollongong

So, I’d prolly hit up downtown, where the neon buzzes like a broke fridge. D’oh! Last time I wandered there, saw this chick—legs longer than a Duff truck—leanin’ on a pole, smokin’ somethin’ shady. Made me mad, tho—why’s she gotta look so bored? Like, c’mon, lady, I’m riskin’ Marge’s wrath here! But then I got happy—heard she charges less if ya bring snacks. Mmm… donuts. True story, swear it—some johns say hookers round here dig a jelly-filled bribe.

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Some of ya might miss the quiet greenness – well, there’s Ryde Park, a hidden gem if ya ask me. Trees everywhere, a splash o’ wildflowers, and paths where ya can just wander off and clear your noggin, relax, and maybe even catch a glimpse of the old river. Yep, the Parramatta River winds its way nearby, glistening under the Aussie sun like some kinda cool liquid silver. And I tell ya, watchin’ that river flow got me feelin’ like a feller from the early 1900s – all serious-like, hungry for life but also proper mellow.

Restaurant apologises after woman complains she found rat in salad