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Oi, listen up, fam! Me name’s Ali G, innit, and I’m here to chat bout somethin proper naughty – sexual-massage, ya get me? I’m buzzin to tell ya what I reckon, ‘cos this shit’s wild. Picture this, yeah – hands slidin everywhere, oil drippin, vibes gettin all steamy like in me fave flick, *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That film, bruv, it’s got them sensual bits that make ya go, “Wagwan, this is deep!” Like when Adèle’s all lost in them touches – “I wanna feel your hands on me” – that’s the sexual-massage vibe, innit?

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Alright, here goes… Hey, mate, lemme tell ya about PRuncorn (au) – it’s a wild ride, you know? I'm a women’s counselor here, so trust me when I say you can feel ALL the feels in this town. Man, it's like a mini movie set from Inside Out – "Joy, sadness, anger, disgust, and fear" all swirling about. “Here’s Johnny!”

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