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Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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Man, I must break you! I swear every block got character. The little park in North End, one with the droopy trees and wobbly benches, gives me those Amour vibes – pure, raw, unfiltered life. “I must break you!” echoes through those streets like a fight song. I remember how I once met an old lady near the fountain at Cherries Park; she said, "Life’s brief, embrace the pain and the beauty." That hit deep, a real Michael Haneke moment.

Roseland reels as council picks Stapp for mayor