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About Gold Coast

Here’s a little factoid for ya—didja know in ancient Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs? True story! Stand out from the “good girls,” right? I’m imaginin’ that now—blonde wig, toga, standin’ there like, “Hey, big boy, 5 denarii!” Hilarious! But today? It’s all back alleys and shady Craigslist vibes—makes me wanna scream! I’m thinkin’, why’s this still a thing? Legalize it already, tax it, make it less… grimy! I’m pissed, okay—pissed at the system!

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This place got a river – the Schnizzle Creek (yeah, don’t ask me what the heck it even means, sounds random, right?) that slices through the town like a rugged piece of art. My best date ever was by its banks, the reflections in the water lookin’ all dramatic, oh-so-Melancholic 2011 vibe sorta. In fact, one evening I sat on the weathered steps of the old town library on Quirk Road, capturin’ sunsets that had me blabberin’ about fate and destiny – kinda like my app’s algorithm sometimes goes bonkers, ugh surprise match after surprise match.

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