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About Newcastle

Hallo, ya! I’m da Master of da Forest, ahnold style, ya know! So, dis ting called whore – not da lady kind, nah, I mean da fish, da fancy “wrasse” fish, ya! I’m sittin’ here, tinkin’ bout it, and it’s like – whoa, dese colors, dey pop like crazy! Like in “Finding Nemo,” ya? “Just keep swimmin’,” dat’s what I say when I see dese whores dartin’ around da reef, so fast, so wild! Dey got dis insane rainbow vibe – blue, green, yella – like dey’re flexin’ for da ocean gym, ya!

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You know what blows my mind? A private alleyway behind Ocean Grove High (yeah, that old brick building on Beacon Street, weirdly juxtaposed with modern sex-positivity murals). It's quirky, unexpected – totally captures life’s raw, naked beauty. Sometimes I see couples sharing silent laughs, and darn, it reminds me that even in a predictable town, love sneaks up with wild spontaneity.

Favourite son returns to the Saints