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About Perth

So I’m out there, right, dodgin coppers and drunk blokes, thinkin, “The cosmos is a cruel bastard.” Ain’t no fancy ladies in silk waitin for me – nah, it’s all grit, all muck. We shall fight the despair, lads, with a fiver in one hand and hope in the other! Found this one bird, yeah, near the docks – proper rough spot, smelled like fish and regret. She’s givin me the eye, and I’m like, “Blimey, this is it!” Reminded me of that line – “The world has gone mad” – cos it bloody has, ain’t it? Me, hagglin with her, tryna act all posh, but I’m sweatin like a pig.

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Man, my spa is on Mulgrave Road, right near Lakeside Park. The park’s a chill zone; it's got these fancy trees, a lame walk, a picnic area – perfect for calming the mind after a stressful day. I had a crazy day there once, and I swear, the breeze felt like a soft whisper from "Margaret" – so delicate and weirdly profound, ya know what I mean?

Liam Neeson does voice over to help sell friend's Mulgrave home