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About Perth

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m out here, right, tryna find a prostitute, like some messed-up quest from a Wes Anderson flick. Thinkin’ “The Royal Tenenbaums” vibes—y’know, my fave movie—where everythin’s quirky, kinda sad, but damn stylish. Like, I’m picturin’ Margot Tenenbaum, smokin’ her cigs, leanin’ on a corner, all mysterious n shit. “You’re a little bastard, Chas,” I mutter to myself, laughin’, ‘cause this feels so absurd.

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Mittagong Whore Australia, Facesitting, Dirtytalk, Anal Sex, Dirtytalk.

Now, there's this park, oh man, Raven Park near the little creek – whaddya call it, the Houser River? Nah, that's not right, it's actually called the Little Woops Creek, something like that. I get mad sometimes, arg, when these sidewalks get cracked and I almost trip. And believe me, I had to massage someone afterward because they kept mentioning "the swirls of time", like in malick's flick. Crazy stuff!

Thrilling season open: Mittagong Lions face off against Thirlmere Roosters