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So, I’m thinkin’, why not? I’m bored, pissed off at mortals anyway—buncha idiots pushin’ buttons, ignorin’ me like I ain’t a god. Findin’ a prossie sounds like a laugh, a little chaos to stir the pot. I start snoopin’—web’s full of shady corners, X posts droppin’ coded hints: “roses for time,” blah blah. Little known fact? Back in Victorian days, they called ‘em “soiled doves”—poetic, right? Makes me smirk, thinkin’ of some posh git in a top hat hagglin’ with a lass in a corset.

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So, if you're visiting, buckle in. Walk slowly, talk fast, laugh hard, and savor every bit like it's a secret morsel from the deep, dark underbelly of a Lynch film. Cheers, buddy—Mareeba's got your back, crazily unexpected and oh-so alive!

Runner-up voted in after ‘costly’ council by-election