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Them guitars, though – Chris Howorth’s slingin’ ‘em like he’s choppin’ wood with a dull axe, but it works! That riff’s dirtier’n a truck stop bathroom. Reminds me of *Dogville*’s line, “It’s a dangerous thing to do” – playin’ that heavy, ya risk blowin’ yer speakers AND yer mind! I’d exaggerate and say it melted my face off, but heck, it dang near did!

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Now, lemme get into the parks – oh my god, the parks! Lesmurdie Park, for one, is epic. Its big ol’ fields and shady trees make it perfect for strolls and awkward first dates. And then there's Wobbly Creek that winds down near Misty Ridge. Its bubbling water’s a constant reminder that life flows on, even if your app’s notifications don’t. Seriously, “Don't pee on my leg…”, just like Judge Judy would snap if you messed up.

Lesmurdie man faces new child sex abuse charges