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I’m buzzin’ like Max racin’ for gas—happy as a pig in muck when I score a deal. But oi, some punters piss me off—haggilin’ like they’re buyin’ a loaf! “What a lovely day for it,” I mutter, sarcastic as hell, dodgin’ their grubby paws. Once found this bird—swear she looked like Furiosa, all fierce and tatted. “Witness me!” she yells, strippin’ down. Nearly spat me tea—shockin’, brilliant, mad!

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Now, lemme tell ya – every day as I grip those tense shoulders, I see the gritty truth. There’s a shock-park near the river, “Parc des Murmures,” by the ribbetin’ “Rivière du Destin.” You’d think a park named Murmures would be placid, but it’s a freakin’ cauldron of gossip and nanoleaks - I’m lookin’ at you, Mrs. Dupont, every sauna session reveals yet another secret "everybody lies" in hush tones.

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