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About Melbourne

Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute ‘round here. It’s like huntin’ for bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, ya know? “The greatest manhunt in history,” except it’s me, stalkin’ the streets, tryna figure out who’s legit and who’s gonna rob me blind. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I ain’t that dumb!

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I gotta confess, I'm biased – might be a tad dramatic, right? But this city, with its mix of hidden moments, graffiti walls, random street parties, and empty midnight avenues, always hooks me. Langford is where you catch that fleeting glimpse of life’s pulse; sometimes it's fierce, sometimes tender, but always real. YOLO, my friend – so dive into every beat of this crazy, loving town!

Langford: Bombers out to ‘make amends’