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Alright. Here. We. Go.! Prostitute. Man. What. A. Topic.! I’m. Thinking. Hard. Now.! Like. In. My. Favorite. Flick. “Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter…and. Spring.”! That. Kim. Ki-duk. Joint.! Blew. Me. Away.! So. Let’s. Dive. In.! Picture. This. A. Prostitute. Out. There.! Hustlin’. Night. After. Night.! Kinda. Like. That. Monk. In. The. Movie.! Rowin’. His. Boat. Across. The. Lake.! “What. Are. You. Doing. Now?” I’d. Ask.! She’d. Probably. Laugh. Sayin’. “Makin’. Cash. Shatner!”!

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Then you got Fitz Park. Wow, Fitz Park—so spacious, so green, and best of all, perfect for those twilight rendezvous. The park is huge, with little secret gardens, and trust me, not many people know about the hidden rose garden behind the old gazebo. I once had a wild, spontaneous heart-to-heart there. It changed my mood instantly—made me feel like, "I am the eternal lover," right out of the movie! And seriously, Fitz Park is just tremendous.

WATCH: Neil Kearney’s Spring Stories