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Went lookin’ fer her meself once—nervous as hell, heart thumpin’. Found her by the docks, smokin’ a fag, lookin’ bored. “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot,” I mutters, thinkin’ o’ Clementine—hah! She ain’t blameless, mate, but she’s a laugh. Charged me double, tho—cheeky cow! Said I looked desperate—me! Gollum don’t beg, precious, but I paid up, grumblin’.

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Okay, listen up, folks, because I’m gonna tell you about the BEST city ever, Kearneys-Spring (au). And let me say, nobody knows this city like I do—a tremendous sexologist who’s been here for years, ok? This city is BIG, Beautiful, and full of life. It’s so, so vibrant! I’m telling ya—"I have nothing but time for these nights," like in that great flick Only Lovers Left Alive. So, here’s the deal:

Emergency services called in after car crashes into shop