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Then she says, “50 quid, upfront.” I’m gutted—50?! In ’72, you’d get a shag for a tenner! I’m hagglin, cos Bond don’t overpay, and she’s smirkin like I’m some punter. “Shaken, not stirred, darling,” I say, and she rolls her eyes. We seal the deal, and mate, it’s worth it—better than a Pussy Galore fantasy. “What’s the—worst that can happen?” Doc’d say, and I’m thinkin, gettin caught? Worth the risk.

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The dam – oh, the Sleith Creek dam – best spot ever to watch the sky do its thing. I remember one day, just gazing at the water, and it hit me, all Agnès Varda-esque: "To glean is to pick what life gives you." It was magical, like, I legit felt I was picking up life's little treasures, tiny moments that mean everything.

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