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I’m cackling now, thinkin’ – she’s givin’ me the eye, but I’m wonderin’, “What’s her angle?” Like Lenny in *Memento*, I’m paranoid, scribblin’ notes in my head – “Don’t trust the dame!” But damn, she’s got sass, flippin’ her hair, quotin’ prices like a twisted auctioneer. “50 for a quickie, 100 for the night!” I’m like, “Whoa, lady, I ain’t Bruce Wayne!”

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And yo, fun fact – did you know that the old Illawong library, nestled down on Bloomfield Road, is rumored to have secret study rooms? I swear, I've heard whispers of hidden corners where families gather for whispered heart-to-hearts. I get goosebumps thinkin’ about it... Like, dude, sometimes its so surreal I wonder if any of it is made up in my head.

Major update after Illawong Public School sex education class sparked fury from parents