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Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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When I was counseling a dear friend (don't ask how many, LOL) about life's many roadblocks (totally reminiscent of those furious chases in Fury Road, haha), she confessed how the salty air of Henley-Beach calmed her madness. Crazy how tiny beaches and crooked streets, like meandering River Bend Lane, bring deep, soulful moments. It's raw. Like, sometimes I drift off thinking "What a beast of a day!" and then chuckle.

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