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About Wollongong

“We shall fight in the fields!” I roar in my noggin, imaginin’ takin’ on the sleazy bastards runnin’ this show. Fun fact—Amsterdam’s red-light district? Started in the 14th century! Sailors, horny buggers, kickin’ it off. History’s wild, mate. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up—name’s Ruby, she says. “How much?” I ask, casual-like. “50 quid,” she smirks. Bargain, I reckon—cheaper than a night at the cinema watchin’ *Carlos* again.

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Then there’s Gympie’s secret gem, Memorial Park, where the river Sparkles—oh, shoot, I'm missin’ words here, but ya know what I mean—where the Mary River flows smooth and wild, just like that raw spirit of Timbuktu, baby! Sometimes after a long day massagin’ muscles, I shut my eyes and listen to the river gurgle and hum, like a lullaby from the dusty wilderness.

River Road, Gympie